tool (wo)man

I've taken up gardening. Container gardening that is. The plastic containers I bought need holes drilled in the side to let the water out. Didn't know that when I bought them.

So I bought a little battery powered drill. At least I thought it was a drill. Turns out it is really an electric screwdriver. It has a Philips screw thingy on it that I thought was a drill bit.

I went back and bought drill bits. I bought the biggest one. It just whirled around the container's surface and didn't do a thing. Seems I need to make a little hole first with a small bit and then graduate up to a big one. Back to the store.

Oh the vagaries of tooling!

squirrlly

I really don't like squirrels. I especially don't like the one that frequents my patio. It's there because the lady next door feeds it. She went into the hospital yesterday so the squirrel got hungry. This morning he was banging on my patio door. Scared the heck out of me! I guess he thought I'd fill in. Forget it, Sucker!

I called the office. I was very diffident.

"You're going to think I'm crazy," I began. "There's a very aggressive squirrel on my patio."

"Banging on your patio door?" the secretary asked.

"Yeah!" I said, relieved.

The maintenance guy came over with what looked like a butterfly net. Rather apropos, I thought. He had no luck.

"Could you perhaps get a humane trap and maybe take it away from here?" I asked, wanting to seem very Zen and concerned about a living thing.

Translation: "Could you get him off my patio and go dump him somewhere?"

He's a rodent for Pete's sake!

(Note: No animals were harmed in the conveyance of this post.)

penny from heaven

Was out walking this morning. A lady with a walker passed me in front of the catholic church. She bent down to pick up a penny.

"Wow!" her companion said, That's good luck."

They seemed to be pretty excited about the penny.

I tried to recall the last time I picked up a penny. I may have thrown a few away out of shear laziness. Not good.

But I remember being excited about a penny. 1945 to be exact. Double Bubble or Bazooka Bubble gum. I can remember how it smelled, how it tasted and the bubbles. You tried to blow the biggest bubble possible and of course it popped in your face. That is when you used the wad to get the gum off. I guess gum sticks to gum. Dab, dab, dab...

I also recall the penny candy. My favorites were Bit-O-Honey and candy cigarettes. I had it down pat. Inhale, blow smoke, tap off the ash, just like Loretta young.

I once had a dog named Penny but that's another post.

this is war!

OK, I've had it with the squirrel. The office didn't put out a trap and the lady is back feeding it.

So the dirty rat came back with his friends.

I turned the hose on him and gave notice in case I'm reported for animal cruelty. It wasn't cruel though. Turns out the rat seemed to like the shower. I swear he smirked at me.

I thought I would be in trouble, but the secretary said,

"Put out some poison," laughing as if to suggest that she didn't really mean it.

I'm sure she did, though, and probably even hoped I took her seriously.

But I would never poison a squirrel even if it is an intriguing idea.