Tuesday, September 23, 2008

a little self-deprecating humor

I like to poke fun at myself and I'm not alone.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I am woman hear me roar

I finally found an electric outdoor grill that is compact and cheap. This morning I put it together. Now I consider myself to be a very feminine, dignified, calm person with one exception. When I have to assemble something, I turn into a man. (Shut up about sexism, I have a lot of background concerning men and assembling things)

If there is any testosterone in me, it roars when I get out my toolbox. First off, it really takes two people to do this, assemble a grill. You have to hold onto the grill, and a part and turn a screwdriver at the same time. I only have two hands, for pity sake!

I struggled using my chin as a third hand and finally got the two back legs on. That felt good! Then I picked up a third leg. It looked different. So did the fourth leg. I looked at the carton. Front legs were on the back. Start over. My chin is really sore.

Thought you'd want to know.

I hate sneakers

When you're five feet two, and not a size six, there is no way you look good in sneakers. They are fat and chunky, they make my legs look bad. They are just plain ugly. But my doctor told me I have to walk. I tried it in my flip-flops. I didn't get very far.

I saw an ad on the internet. You can order plain old regular Keds and design them yourself. You can download your own designs and they will put them on the shoes. So I thought, why not go for fun and off-beat. I got out some old school photos and sent them on. Voila! They are a bit strange, but I think they're pretty nice.

I put the 8Th grade graduation in front. There is John Rogers, adored by all the girls. The summer following 8Th grade he asked me out. I was cute then. (See picture above.)

So now I walk in my Keds and when I get bored I look at my feet and John and I remember when. I wonder where you are John and what you would think if you knew your picture is on my keds.

Probably that I'm nuts.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

eeek!

Yesterday I let out a shriek. I was on the patio. I live in a retirement community and shrieks from the residents are taken very seriously here.

I was re potting a fern. A worm crawled across my hand. I wasn't expecting a worm. It scared me. Ir scares me now.

What is notable is that I used to bait hooks with red worms. Big ones. It didn't bother me back then. But fishing didn't bother me back then either. Now I don't want to be responsible for the demise of anything that has a face. Fish have faces don't they?

Wait while I Google.

I found one fish that has a face.

I swear I love Google!

I had a aunt that had nothing but plastic flowers in her front yard. She also had six toes on each foot. Maybe I could go plastic?

Nah.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

invisible thread.

I make purses. So, I use a lot of different fabrics that require using different colored thread. It's a real pain changing the thread on the sewing machine. I discovered transparent thread. Problem solved, I thought. Same thread for each purse. Only problem, you can't see it. It's invisible. You can only thread the needle with a lot of trial and error. So, that was the end of transparent thread, I thought.

I must have accidentally kicked the spool under the dining room hutch where I sew. It must have left a trail of invisible thread on it's way. Not knowing this, every time I crosses the room my foot caught on the thread and it unraveled, got tangled around my foot. I broke it off but it just kept happening. It was as if Spider man had moved in. There was thread everywhere, I just couldn't see it.

They need to put a warning on the package.